I’ve been dating J. for 11 months, and he is 3 weeks into a 6 month trip to Thailand and I’m fighting it, I’m sad, I’m jealous that he gets to experience all this new stuff and be surrounded all day with people who are adjusting to their new normal life while I have to adjust to my side of the coin alone.
Which, ya, that is shitty. Shitty for me to feel, but also shitty as a partner.
I’m sick of feeling so BLAH.
I picked up smoking in quarantine. It’s been almost 2 years. I drink. I feel stuck and unable to ween off adderall.
I’m choosing to embrace the shittyness. And work on it. Let’s see how it goes.
So, day 1, it’s Sunday, I just got back from Waikiki yesterday. I’m exhausted. I’ve been getting up at 5, working until 4, playing and surfing and eating until 10, and then staying up until 1 or 2 am to talk to J. I’m tired, I want to be lazy but I have emails to send so I have to fight the fog and the massive urge to binge eat and go back to bed.
I’m also watching the new Cinderella and at first I was rolling my eyes at it but yooo I’m into it now (queue inspirational music number about seeking out a life more aligned with dreams).
So today, I promise to the internet. I promise to send that email, to buy those gifts, to do the laundry, and at least walk around or do something to engage the body.
Cool, thanks, have a good one ☝️
C-B-Doing Thangs 