Gonna be a random hodge-podge of thoughts today.
I was watching SNL Friday night in lieu of date night (ugh) and had the intro skit, which I usually skip because it’s just political ramblings and I am so annoyed by the whole drama but they had this Elizabeth Warren skit with some hilarious lines. Kate McKinnon is also an absolute gem of the American public. “Health care is my despacito” – how do you get that funny?? I do not know.
Anyways, yesterday was day of fun with Jeremy. He’s pretty politically attuned so it was nice getting a breakdown of the current events in a way I could actually digest. We brunched, we chatted, we cried and laughed, just overall good day with a good friend. And as promised, he had wisdom nuggets to pass along. We talked about all pain, like big and small pain we carry around, and he asked,
“If we don’t feel the trauma we go through and process is, how would it compound and affect our lives?”
Or something like that. Maybe I am paraphrasing. I don’t know the answer regardless, though. Ask yourself and let me know if you come up with anything.
Else, today is Avik’s birthday. The same Avik I spent 3 years of life with. Happy birthday, buddy.
I had some other thoughts yesterday, too. I had a moment going to cycling class where a dog eyed me, and refused to move until his owner let him come pet me. It was adorable and innocent and a really happy moment, and I let myself recognize that it was a really sweet moment.
It was nice. I felt really happy.
I went through all yesterday still trying to hone in on actual goals to focus on for 2020. I know I want to be on TV, I don’t know why or how but that’d be cool so I can work to that. And health goals are seeming more and more attractive to me, likely because it’s the only thing I can control it feels like some times. Work and professional, we still don’t know.
I have also realized I am such a people pleaser. Trying to just reflect on that a big and figure out if this is about me being codependent or just trying to get people to like me or what. But being a people pleaser doesn’t seem bad until you realize that your boss’ validation will absolutely make you work 10x harder and burn out and then you realize maybe just maybe it’s getting a little out of hand.
You know, I don’t really feel like writing anymore today. Feeling forced, so gonna dip out, make some tea, and go run.
Make it a good one.
C-B-Doing Thangs 