Despite my measly 4 hours of sleep NYE and my complete exhaustion and lack of motivation yesterday, my tired self slept from midnight to 5 AM. And then meditated until 5:20. Then 6. But at 6:30 I was 2 slices of pizza in and booked myself a cycle class. I’m exhausted. Feeling sad? Frustrated at my sleep schedule. But the sleep app I was trying to meditate with had some nice wins I’m going to try to remember. (I think it was called Prizz? I’ll check again tonight).
- Tell your body that even if you don’t sleep, you will be able to make it through the day.
- Trust your body to do what it does naturally.
- Tell your body it is safe and just breathe.
- We are not our thoughts.
I’ve heard that last one a lot, but it resonated last night. Maybe because I think I got a wee bit rejected by a boy, but boys tend to be a mind encompassing thought for me. They’re fun to think about and a “fun” kind of stress – except when they make you feel down. Which is I think what is happening now. So it was nice to realize that I am more than these stupid, shallow, and vapid thoughts lol. And then same goes for work frustrations! I am more than my tiredness or complaints or even accomplishments. I don’t know how exactly yet but give me like 8 months on this meditation and sleep and self-love thing and we will see what happens.
Then back to point 1. Telling my body to relax doesn’t work. Telling my body that even if the stress wins out today, we will be okay – that’s something new.
Of course, it’s still on my mind that my lack of sleep is probably contributing to my lack of focus and thus my frustration and apathy for life right now and then also the leading cause of my immune system having been compromised since October but, you know. Baby steps.
I was so tired at cycling class that I felt completely out of body, but a little win for us with non-modelesque bodies, I went sports bra only for the top. Why not? Felt okay about it too. Dark lighting makes us all look good.
C-B-Doing Thangs 